Integrity With Self

I told myself that I was going to go to the gym for an indoor cycling class today.

I had made the decision and reservation for a space in the class last night. But this morning it was a wintry mix of snow and rain – slop, really – and as I was sitting toasty warm and cozy by the heater looking out the window, I decided that I didn’t need to be going out in that mess. Snuggling up and reading a book sounded like a more fitting – and safer – option.

While peering out my window surveying the horrible and possibly dangerous conditions, an intrepid man of about 70 jogged past my window. He was out in it, doing it the thing, while I was inside creating excuses. He served as a wake up call for me. I can’t wait for conditions to be just right, or wait until the mood strikes to get the exercise I’d planned on.

I realized at that moment that not heading to the gym was a breach in integrity with myself.

If I’d committed to meeting a friend at that cycling class, I’d be sure to show up, yet I wasn’t willing to show up for myself.

How many times do we do that? We tell ourselves we’re not going to eat sugar for the day (this is me), but then create an exception to our own goal. Or we’re going to exercise, or drink water, or eat a salad, or _____________ (fill in any healthy habit). And we mean it, by golly.

But at first sign of discomfort, we’re out, coming up with some reallllly legitimate reason why we can’t do it.

This is a lack of integrity. We think of integrity in relation to how we conduct ourselves around other people. But in a broader sense, integrity has to do with honesty, responsibility, and respect.

Are you being honest with yourself? Are you acting responsibly? Are treating yourself with respect?

If not, why not? You are every bit as valuable and important as the person you may meet up with at the gym. Only this time, you’re not letting someone else down; you’re letting yourself down.

Sure, things come up and plans change. But I’m talking about the times when we keep ourselves down and stuck by creating excuses for things that feel hard.

Hold yourself accountable. Have integrity with yourself.

You know what? I went to the gym (thanks to the older gentleman who ran by my house in the sloppy weather and inspired me) and had an amazing workout. I felt fantastic afterward. I reaped all the rewards and benefits.

And I almost talked myself out of it.

(P.S. It was only a dusting of snow. Ummm, quite safe for me to walk or drive the .3 miles to the gym.)

What about you?

Do you keep integrity with yourself?